Your Daily Cry

Oh. My. Gosh, everyone. Drop everything you’re doing and watch this immediately (it’s a 12-year-old interviewing his mother):

As a new mom myself, I often wonder what Baby I will be like when she’s older. The most obvious questions are really common ones, like, what will she be like? What will our relationship be like?

I think this video is so important because it asks new moms (or prospective moms, or not-so-new moms) to think about things that are more uncomfortable. Like:

How will my child perceive me?

How will my child perceive herself?

Will my child be “normal”? Will I want her to be? Will she want to be?

When I think about the future, I do tend to picture the all-American family: 2.4 kids, white picket fence, etc. etc. But things are rarely that way (and how boring is that, honestly!?). There are all kinds of things that can challenge a family. We have already had a taste of that tough stuff in the short time we’ve been a three-member family. And I know that even if Baby I doesn’t grow up to be on the Autism spectrum or have any other diagnosable disorder or disease, things will not always be easy.

But this video also highlights the fact that just because things are difficult, that doesn’t mean they aren’t wonderful. I can only hope to have the patience, optimism and honesty someday, when the time comes, with Baby I that this mother seems to have with her son.

Excuse me, I need a tissue.

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5 thoughts on “Your Daily Cry

  1. This was wonderful, and great advice to ANY parent! My daughter, now 25, has been a challenge and a growing experience for me. There have been times when we’ve wondered if she did not have some level of autism due to her social issues. Sometimes, I think brilliance is a type of autism in itself. She has a 145+ IQ. She was tested in kindergarten and is considered “superiorly gifted”, bordering on genius level. She was in the gifted program all through school, but a grade above her own because they didn’t have enough kids her age to make a whole class. She then skipped 2nd grade, and skipped ahead in gifted, as well. She has a laundry list of achievements and awards on several local, regional, and national levels. Her intellect and creativity astound people. It also alienated kids, and a few teachers, in school. She thinks on a whole different level than most humans, she sees the world differently, and it makes it hard to deal with people sometimes. People who know her, adore her. It can be hard to get to know her, though, because she puts up a protective front with new people in her life.

    It has been a grand adventure being her mum. I would not trade a second of it for the universe- even the tough times, of which there have been plenty. No matter how we may have fought at times, the day always ended in “a cup of tea” between us.

    The most important thing is HONESTY. Let your child get to know you through stories about your own childhood and growing up, personal mementos, and photos. This gives them a sense of who YOU are, which gives them more of a sense of themselves and belonging, and let’s them now that they can be safe with you, no matter what. I have always told my Shooshie that if she ever got into trouble, we’d deal with it; don’t ever be afraid to tell Mummy anything. If she lied, she’d be in trouble, but we’d still deal with it. She has told me pretty much everything she’s done in her life, and I am glad that she feels that she CAN tell me anything. It’s OK for kids and parents to have things they DON’T share, of course, but she knows Mummy will always be there for her, and while I might not LIKE some things, I will always love and accept her.

    Acceptance can be difficult. You have to open to all possibilities. Shoosh is nothing like I expected a child of mine would be, but I like who she is. I like who I have become, in good part, because of her. She still struggles with social issues, sometimes being almost agoraphobic. She has some OCD tendencies. She has had therapy and meds to help her deal with these things, and is doing well.

    We’re best friends, but she knows I am Mummy first. Be friends with your child, but have boundaries, too. Have fun, most of all!

    • Wow, your daughter sounds amazing! Thank you for sharing your story. I have only been a mother for just over 10 months now, but it has already blown my mind in so many ways.
      I aspire to have the kind of open and trusting relationship with my daughter that you have with yours.

    • Right? I didn’t mean to imply that this is only for parents; I think it’s touching no matter who you are! And thanks for that wonderful compliment. I’m glad we’re still friends after the whole Puppy Surprise debacle 😉

  2. What a great idea of preserving stories. This one was so touching and a great way to show how someone suffering from Asperger’s might feel alienated (people seem to love Amy “more”) and how that interaction really does change our quality of life. Thanks for posting.

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